Build capacity to enable you run out of abusive marriages – Counselor to women

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A marriage counselor, Madam Mercy, has advised women to build capacity to enable them walk out of abusive marriages.

According to her most women stay in abusive relationships because they don’t have any support mechanisms to keep them going when they exit.

In her view, the solution to this challenge is for women, especially married spouses, to equip themselves with some form of trade or skills that would sustain their livelihoods.

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Speaking on Angel FM’s Anopa Bofo Morning Show on Thursday, April 28, Madam Mercy stated that “a lot of women are in there [abusive marriages]. They cannot leave like I did because they do not have any support like I did. That’s why sometimes when I’m counselling people I talk to the women about capacity building. Build yourself as a woman, have a grounding so that in the event that something like this [abuse] happens you can leave and start life all over again.”

Narrating her ordeal in her previous marriage, she stated that she suffered both physical abuse and emotional torture from her husband who was a police officer.

“He slapped me and I had jaw lock. That was either the second or third time he had assaulted me though my parents have never beaten me before”, she bemoaned.

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She entreated women who face spousal abuse not to fear walking away for their own safety.

The counsellor disclosed that leaving the marriage may not resolve all issues but it is a better option.

In her case, she said her partner abused her emotionally even after she left by preventing her from seeing her children.

She added that the popular verse in Mark 10:9 that reads that “what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” should not restrain women.

She argued that “God is not even in some of these marriages. A marriage where you are beaten, what shows God approves of it? God has already left that marriage so it can be put asunder. Leave the marriage.”

Madam Mercy further posited that systems such as Domestic Violence and Victim Support Unit (DOVVSU) and the law courts should be well positioned to help women in abusive relationships while calling on Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) and the public to lend a helping hand to nip the canker in the bud.

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