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    Africa must take control of its health future –Health Minister

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    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

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    Ebo Noah’s viral popularity could boost Central Region Tourism — Jonilar suggests

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    Evangelist Papa Shee narrates how widowhood claims saga began in Daddy Lumba’s family

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    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

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    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

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    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

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    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

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    Parliament formally notifies EC of Kpandai vacancy seat

    Parliament formally notifies EC of Kpandai vacancy seat

    Ghana and Qatar begin implementation of Labour Mobility Agreement

    Elections 2028: NPP should save money and forget contesting presidential election – Kwakye-Ackah

    Mahama marks one-year anniversary of election victory with renewed pledge

    Mahama marks one-year anniversary of election victory with renewed pledge

    EC postpones District Assembly, Unit Committee by-elections

    EC postpones District Assembly, Unit Committee by-elections

    Ukraine-Russia crisis: Asking Ghanaian students to find safe shelter ‘petrifying’ – Okudzeto Ablakwa

    Ghana expresses concern over post-election violence in Tanzania

    NPP decides: Over 30,000 delegates to vote in Ashanti Region

    Justin Kodua underscores NPP constitutional amendment to strengthen party

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Gov’t constitutes mediation team to resolve Gbiniyiri conflict

    Full text: Interior ministers’ briefing on 2020 and 2024 election violence

  • Politics
    NDC administration delivering ‘reverse’ not ‘reset’ -Miracles Aboagye

    NDC administration delivering ‘reverse’ not ‘reset’ -Miracles Aboagye

    Sammy Awuku warns against ‘coordinated push’ towards ‘one-party’ state

    Sammy Awuku warns against ‘coordinated push’ towards ‘one-party’ state

    Haruna Iddrisu calls for stronger budget oversight, dedicated offices for MPs

    Haruna Iddrisu calls for stronger budget oversight, dedicated offices for MPs

    Third-term agenda calculated attempt to sway NDC’s focus – Korankyewaa

    NPP Chairman to Ghanaians: Let’s be mindful with people we elect as leaders

    United Party proposes independent Anti-Corruption Czar to replace OSP

    Presidential term extension dangerous to democracy – Afia Korankyewaa

    Third term agenda is ‘NPP trap’ set for Prez. Mahama – Afia Korankyewaa

    Mahama will suffer his worst defeat if seeks third term in 2028 election – Oda MP

    NPP Flagbearer Race: Ndekugri Foundation CEO endorses Kennedy Agyapong

    NPP Flagbearer Race: Ndekugri Foundation CEO endorses Kennedy Agyapong

  • News
    • Local News
  • Business
    Ebo Noah’s viral popularity could boost Central Region Tourism — Jonilar suggests

    Ebo Noah’s viral popularity could boost Central Region Tourism — Jonilar suggests

    Ghana’s gold sector sees record exports, Gov’t pushes for value addition

    GoldBod emerges as key player in economic recovery, helps BoG mobilise $10bn for stability

    Ukraine war: World Bank warns of ‘human catastrophe’ food crisis

    Ghana’s economy hits 5.5% growth – GSS report

    President Mahama assents Act to scrap Covid-19 Levy

    President Mahama assents Act to scrap Covid-19 Levy

    GEA hosts annual review meeting to enhance worker performance in Greater Accra

    GEA hosts annual review meeting to enhance worker performance in Greater Accra

    MoFA welcomes corporate partnerships to support farmers – Agric Minister

    MoFA welcomes corporate partnerships to support farmers – Agric Minister

    Mahama urges adoption of modern farming technologies to boost productivity

    Take up farming duties as a side job – Mahama to professionals

    Mahama urges adoption of modern farming technologies to boost productivity

    Mahama urges adoption of modern farming technologies to boost productivity

    Ghana marks 41st National Farmers’ Day with a renewed call to ‘Feed Ghana, Eat Ghana, Secure the Future

    Ghana marks 41st National Farmers’ Day with a renewed call to ‘Feed Ghana, Eat Ghana, Secure the Future

  • Education
    GES condemns violence at Adisadel College

    GES dismisses ‘secret recruitment’ claims

    President Mahama lifts ban on state land sales

    No need for dispute when missions school assented to MoU on religious diversity – Mahama 

    GES condemns violence at Adisadel College

    GES condemns assault on teacher at Kade SHTS, assures drastic measures

    GETFund accelerates practical science education with strategic funding for STEMBox initiative

    GETFund accelerates practical science education with strategic funding for STEMBox initiative

    Headmaster of Dzodze-Penyi SHS interdicted over alleged sexual misconduct

    Headmaster of Dzodze-Penyi SHS interdicted over alleged sexual misconduct

    President Mahama launches STEMBox initiative for basic education

    President Mahama launches STEMBox initiative for basic education

    Gov’t’s commitment to practical science education is commendable – Prof. Davis

    Gov’t’s commitment to practical science education is commendable – Prof. Davis

    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Legon UTAG defies order to resume lectures

    GTEC halts UG’s distance learning centres over accreditation issues

  • Health
    Weija Pediatric Hospital

    We’ve not interfered in Weija Pediatrics Hospital project – MoH

    Weija Pediatric Hospital

    Weija Children’s Hospital: We’re unaware of the Health Ministry’s challenges with the World Bank – Contractor

    Weija Pediatric Hospital

    Work on Pediatric Hospital at Weija stalls as World Bank allegedly cancels contract

    Veep commission’s KGL Eve Medical Centre to boost mental health care

    Veep commission’s KGL Eve Medical Centre to boost mental health care

    Africa must take control of its health future – Health Minister

    Africa must take control of its health future –Health Minister

    Georgina Appiah Amponsah: Galamsey: The enemy of Ghana’s agriculture

    Georgina Appiah Amponsah: Galamsey: The enemy of Ghana’s agriculture

    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
    Lumba’s final funeral rites underway in Kumasi

    Lumba’s final funeral rites underway in Kumasi

    President Mahama launches fund to care for children of helicopter crash victims

    President Mahama donates GH¢50,000 to late Daddy Lumba’s family

    Ebo Noah’s viral popularity could boost Central Region Tourism — Jonilar suggests

    Ebo Noah’s viral popularity could boost Central Region Tourism — Jonilar suggests

    Lumba’s lyrics were ‘transcendental and enjoyable’- Former President Kufuor

    Daddy Lumba’s uncle raises concerns after funeral injunction

    Baba Jamal and associates’ legal response for Fosu Royal Family

    Court okays Lumba’s funeral but family misses deadline to pay GH₵2million

    I faced depression and isolation during my marriage – Portia Asare opens up

    I faced depression and isolation during my marriage – Portia Asare opens up

    Baba Jamal and associates’ legal response for Fosu Royal Family

    High court injuncts Daddy Lumba’s funeral

    Evangelist Papa Shee narrates how widowhood claims saga began in Daddy Lumba’s family

    Evangelist Papa Shee narrates how widowhood claims saga began in Daddy Lumba’s family

    Nana Yeboah demands Agradaa’s face be shown during court appearances

    Nana Yeboah demands Agradaa’s face be shown during court appearances

  • Features
  • World
    Mahama reaffirms solidarity with Kenya at Jamhuri day celebration

    Mahama reaffirms solidarity with Kenya at Jamhuri day celebration

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Premature shut down of Washington embassy dents Ghana’s Foreign Service – Minority

    Israel-Iran Conflict: Safety of Ghanaians must be national priority – Minority to gov’t

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

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Home Features

Mawuli Zogbenu: Transparent ‘Abɛ nkwan’

by Jerry Tsatro Mordy
February 28, 2021
in Features, Top Story
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Mawuli Zogbenu

Mawuli Zogbenu

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The most confident man is the man who goes for a job interview and tells the panelists after he has been asked ‘can you take pressure?’ and he answers: ‘I owe my landlord rent for 2 and half years’.

They are some of the people who can take-over your property if you make them care-takers (hw3so mami) of your uncompleted buildings if you want to be the Mr. or Ms. Good Person’ o. I hope you remember ‘Akwetey Police’ who nearly succeeded in using the property I made him to be a care-taker of as collateral to go and take a loan o! Be advised o, yoo!

Some things are better kept a secret. Don’t be transparent about everything. How can you tell your wife you have been paying fees for a young lady at the university? Or better still tell her because the two shall become one, slay Q Angela gets you upset and for that matter, you rush to your wife to confess to her. Go ahead! Hmmmm!

This is probably one of the reasons I have a problem with people who call themselves ‘Solomon’ yet have only one wife. Waste of name for nothing!

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Ehern come to think of it, when the white-man says it is a crime to have more than one Christian wife, can we Africans also go and rent an office in oyibo-land for Polygamists Association Secretariat? All we need to say is that we want to be an NGO! In fact, I think the membership will be so huge that we may need several hectares of land to build an office for polygamists. Polygamy and that disgusting thing, which one must be discouraged? Ah!

I still cannot believe that this disgusting thing really exists. Ah! The way God has planned it for man and woman to enjoy each other paa and I hear discussions about this ‘iron-enter-iron’ thing, I feel nauseous. Ah!

Eiiii. I just remembered the dream I had about someone last weekend o. Dreams can be funny er. You are driving and before you know it, you are being driven. And then the next thing you see in the dream, you are climbing a mango tree to pluck coconut! Sometimes, you see bundles of 200 ghana notes being given to you and then you wake up and your wallet is ‘spacious’!

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In the dream I had last week er, hmmm; I pray I never have such a dream again. I was in the bathroom with this single lady who has ‘denied me access’ for many years so I gave up. I don’t know where this dream came from. I saw her in my dream. In the dream, she was bathing and I was in the bathroom too. She was standing in front of me, still bathing. I drooled!

Honestly I don’t know what brought me to the bathroom in which she was. I was controlling myself in the dream until the soap she was bathing with fell on the floor and she bent down to pick it while in front of me! OMG!

At that point I told myself what can come; even some preacher men could fall. Then I heard a knock on my main gate that woke me up. Ah! Ah! Ah! It was the guy who has been collecting my refuse (borla) who was coming for his money for the month! I almost cursed him and abrogated the contract between me and him for denying me access to the ‘promised land’

Kweku, abeg, if this is the first time you are reading from me, then you have a problem o. There is nothing useful here o. Hahahahaha. All I talk about is basaaaa….chakaaaaaa. Non-fa nkoaaa!

Total abstract with nothing to learn from but it releases stress but one thing is for sure: ‘Don’t Read’ because there is no order. One moment, a story starts and the next moment another story enters and disrupts it. Don’t mind the author. They are all lies ooo….hahahahahaha!

Do you know the worst scammer in the world? He is that vegetarian who tells you he doesn’t eat cow meat but prefers to eat wele. If you don’t fear such a person, follow him and you are doomed o, yoo. Some of them claim they don’t drink alcohol; go and smell the malt bottle they sent their children with and you would understand why the palm tree is arguably the most useful plant nature has given us; everything can be gotten from it including palm wine from which akpeteshie is distilled!

They are the same people who would tell you not to eat cow meat because the fat of the cow will accumulate in your stomach. Where do the cows get the fat from? From the grass they chew? We like deceiving ourselves o, debida!

I was at a joint around the December inside last year and saw this nice place and decided to make myself happy with fufu and abenkwan (palm nut soup) as displayed on their signpost. You won’t believe this. Lord God have mercy. Some people don’t know how to cook o, yet they have adopted catering as their business. What I saw was plain water that looked like apple fruit juice.

The soup was so transparent I could see the fish and meat at the bottom. So badly prepared as if it was purgative and sadly the waitress was so proud of having served me the best lunch of her life. She first wasted my time. You know how annoying it can be when you enter an eating place and the first thing they bring to you is water to wash your hands with.

The next thing is to bring tissue. Then they delay you for 20-30 minutes before the food arrives. Auntie, is it food I want to eat or water to wash my hands with? Know your customers’ priorities o. this was what the lady did to me.

I was so disappointed and asked her to go back to catering school. As far as I am concerned, the abenkwan must be thick and opaque such that sometimes one requires fork and knife to cut it. The lady, feeling embarrassed at my outburst defended herself by saying that the customers who come to eat there prefer the abenkwan to be light. I told her it was a lie unless of course eno bi Ghana we dey!

I looked around and realized there was only one other person in the chop bar. The others went to a nearby joint where they sold the same fufu and abenkwan but what misled me to this transparent abenkwan base was the signpost. It was so beautifully designed with nice pictures of thick abenkwan but the opposite was the case. The other joint being patronized by more people had no signpost!

That is why it is dangerous to be judgmental. What you see in others, chances are that, they exist in you. You see, when you see a man and a 26-year old single lady entering a guest house at odd hours, what comes to your mind? Whatever comes to mind is bcos you have been there before and as to whether you went there to fast and pray, God dey watch we all o, yooo. Every human being is both good and bad including you and I, or?

Greetings to my Assistant, Samuel Arthur Oduro (Macho-man), who is so full of ideas and energy that he went to the gym and broke his leg. Hahahahahaha! Macho, remember COVID is real o, yoo.

Tags: HumorTransparent
Jerry Tsatro Mordy

Jerry Tsatro Mordy

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