‘It is only when the rain has no essence that a young lady will be seen running holding her breasts’ – a proverb from an unknown part of Ghana.
Please don’t think about it o, just hold your breasts and run once the rains are not torrential enough. I am not saying the men should hold breasts o, I mean the girls running in the unserious rain. I know some of you, men.
Ladies, please be careful with guys who urinate and washt their hands with soap under running water o. what are they carrying in their boxer shorts that they need to wsh their hands with. I am suspicious so I don’t shake hands with such people.
When I see them coming from the washroom with hands washed, I dodge them in order to avoid any handshake. That reminds me of what I told you before. You ate gari and beans with egg the previous night.
The following day at work you went to use the washroom. Just when you are about coming out of the washroom, your Boss was also about entering there. Would you allow him to go inside or advise him that the taps are not flowing? You go ahead and allow him to go, staff appraisal time is near.
So those who claimed they cured or prevented their wives from getting breast cancer, where is your certificate? Alakpa sonnnnn! You want to enjoy already and taken advantage to play with those succulent flesh on top of a woman.
The biggest self-deceivers among electorates are those who describe themselves as ‘floating voters’.
Floating for where? It is never true o; at best you can say is that you are not party fanatics but floating? Oh how? Are you a balloon or calabash?
Everyone will vote for someone so how can you float unless of course; you spoil the ballot then I will agree with you that you are going to float. Once you have been voting for somebody, you have taken sides and not floating.
Floating on what water? Abeg, let me go and drink my tea; next two weeks or so is Christmas!
Everybody who votes, votes for somebody not for ‘float’. The fact that you vote secretly does not mean you vote for everybody. Even at the point of voting, you may change your mind and vote for somebody.
You can’t walk in the middle of the road; you are either on the right side of the road or the left. Meboa?! You don’t need to say that explicitly but you are still going to vote for somebody anyway.
Looks like I am becoming a prophet o and I can predict rightly what tomorrow would be – the day will be good for those who would trust and obey I can! Praise the Lord! Halleluya!
Today is weekend again and scatter scatter come my brains inside again! I have been fighting my mother-in-law’s daughter for three days. On the first day of the fight, she was full of moods and anger on her face.
On day two, she would not even respond to my ‘good morning’ greetings! On the dawn of the third day, she went to take an early morning shower and walked in front of me ‘just like that’ across the bedroom and as usual bent down as if to pick something from under the bed. I saw her to be ‘floating’.
The devil is a liar; I ‘putted’ all male ego aside and jumped on her like a mosquito ‘biting her biting her’. And then she became ‘fine’ but didn’t talk though I could see some joy and smiles on her face. Wait a minute o. why did God create mosquitoes at all? Ah!
By 5.15 am dawn, I heard her sweeping the corridor singing: ‘Aseda y3 Onyame ne dea….‘Aseda y3 Onyame ne deaaaaa, ‘Aseda y3 Onyame ne deaaaa, mintumi nka adea woay3 mamiiiiiiiii’. Momo momo mo adea woay3 amami….ajei…momo…momo. To wit, ‘Glory be to God; I cant thank you for what you did for me’ Hahaaa! Sosket; fire burn am! There is power in the ‘this thing’ when you are legally married o!
Christmas is coming again and if you don’t use your head, your body will suffer o, yoo. I hate it when I am on good terms with my wife.
I prefer fighting her so that she would not make me spend too much money and running errands for her especially around this festive season. Already she is reminding me of an outstanding loan which I took from her at an interest of 300% and is still pending.
When we are fighting and not on good terms, she does and buys everything by herself. But the moment we patch up p3, heeei; that is when she would ask me to: ‘please pass by the mall and buy me goat meat, neat fufu, bulb for the garage, milo, rice, pancake, chocolate, buy me bottled water and I prefer belakwa the big one, I want NTN credit, in fact add fodavone, if possible Bizi4G data, etc.
The list will not end here o. Next is ‘my phone is giving me problems and I think I need an eye phone but all I have is GHC90 and I am sure that should be enough’. GHC90 for eye phone? She hands the GHC90 to me and because we are on good terms…I will sheepishly comply! Ao! Men and women – both categories are a problem.
When I am on good terms with her, I like to surprise her by ‘doing show’ buying her nice nice things including yoghurt and boflot!
Indeed, marital fights are good. The feeling becomes even sweeter after the fight, no be so? Please allow the fights wai! They are normal things and imagine a marriage that is full of laughter all the time; it won’t be sweet kraa. Fight small and laugh plenty!
Last month, I had to warn my wife that when it is getting to the X’mas, nobody is buying any new clothing and things. She didn’t say anything. I provoked her to get angry so I will have basis to stop being on talking terms with her till January 10.
She no mind me sef! Frustrated, I told her my real intentions that we should quarrel over who would enter 2025 first. All of these I did just to save money once I am not on talking terms with her during the period. After all, there is enough corn dough and ingredients in the kitchen!
Go and vote peacefully and come home peacefully. No wahala o even if you are not a floating voter. May God direct us to choose those who He wants to lead us. Amen!
