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    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

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    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

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    Prof. Alidu Seidu wins NDC’s Tamale Central Parliamentary Primary

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    I see Mahama seeking ‘third term’ bid…and he will win – Prophet Roja

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    NPP primaries: Dominic Nitiwul accused of playing tribal cards in Bimbilla

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    Baba Kamara stays with ECOWAS observation mission in the wake of crisis

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    Atta Akyea achieved nothing with his 20 years at the Bar – Ken Agyapong’s lead campainger fires

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    GoldBod CEO honoured with 470-year-old Suma Adinkra sword

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    NLA boss graduates as chartered professional administrator and management consultant

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    Mahama cuts sod for major vegetable development project in Kukuom

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    Prez Mahama breaks ground for modern poultry, meat processing plant in Bechem

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    BYDs move to build assembly plant signals fresh opportunities – Kojo Bonsu

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    The NLA caritas lottery platform: Growing and shaping brands through consumer promotions

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    DATCCU marks Golden Jubilee as CEO commends union’s growth in Ghana

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    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

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    Seidu Agongo: Drop in WASSCE 2025 performance – Reality check and opportunity for correction?

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    BECE results key indicator of WASSCE performance – Prof Eric Anane

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    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

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    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

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    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

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    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

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    Gov’t pays salaries of 6,000 newly recruited nurses

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    Health Minister gives posted doctors ultimatum to report to duty

    Gov’t to increase NHIS tariffs by 120% in 2026 – Health Minister

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    Mahama directs rollout of free primary healthcare in 2026 – Health Minister

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    African Showboyz and GA Stars unite: A vibrant celebration of Ghanaian and Brazilian rhythms

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    Kumasi Evangel Choir marks 13years of dedicated service

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    Medikal unveils new PR team following saga with Highest Eri

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    Mzbel explains why she has no interest in marriage

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    I see my money now – Nasty C talks life as an independent artiste

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

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    Respect emergency vehicles – D Cryme urges road users

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    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

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    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

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    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

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    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

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    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

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    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

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    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

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    USAID officials put on leave as Elon Musk says time for agency to ‘die’

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    EC postpones District Assembly, Unit Committee by-elections

    EC postpones District Assembly, Unit Committee by-elections

    Ukraine-Russia crisis: Asking Ghanaian students to find safe shelter ‘petrifying’ – Okudzeto Ablakwa

    Ghana expresses concern over post-election violence in Tanzania

    NPP decides: Over 30,000 delegates to vote in Ashanti Region

    Justin Kodua underscores NPP constitutional amendment to strengthen party

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Gov’t constitutes mediation team to resolve Gbiniyiri conflict

    Full text: Interior ministers’ briefing on 2020 and 2024 election violence

    Prof. Alidu Seidu wins NDC’s Tamale Central Parliamentary Primary

    Prof. Alidu Seidu wins NDC’s Tamale Central Parliamentary Primary

    NPP decides: Over 30,000 delegates to vote in Ashanti Region

    NPP issues guidelines for registration of additional delegates inclusion

    Escort of NDC’s Azorka and NPP’s Vice Chair clash at Akwatia

    NPP condemns death threat, assault by NDC officials at Akwatia by-election

  • Politics
    I see Mahama seeking ‘third term’ bid…and he will win – Prophet Roja

    I see Mahama seeking ‘third term’ bid…and he will win – Prophet Roja

    NPP primaries: Dominic Nitiwul accused of playing tribal cards in Bimbilla

    NPP primaries: Dominic Nitiwul accused of playing tribal cards in Bimbilla

    2025 WASSCE results have no political connotations – Dr. Sammy Ayeh

    NPP’s sudden silence on perceived ‘dumsor’ interesting – Dr. Ayeh

    150,000 first-year tertiary students benefited from ‘No fee stress policy’- Dr. Sammy Ayeh

    NPP were living ‘champagne life’ on ‘akpeteshie budget’ – Presidential Aide

    Baba Kamara stays with ECOWAS observation mission in the wake of crisis

    Baba Kamara stays with ECOWAS observation mission in the wake of crisis

    Collaborate with security agencies to combat potential terrorist threats – Former First Lady

    Nana Konadu Agyeman-Rawlings goes home today

    Atta Akyea achieved nothing with his 20 years at the Bar – Ken Agyapong’s lead campainger fires

    Atta Akyea achieved nothing with his 20 years at the Bar – Ken Agyapong’s lead campainger fires

    We shall remain resolute despite gov’t’ ‘persecution’ – Afenyo-Markin

    Ruling on Kpandai Parliamentary seat amounts to electoral anarchy – Minority Leader

    Minority Caucus from Northern sector pays courtesy call on Akufo-Addo

    Minority Caucus from Northern sector pays courtesy call on Akufo-Addo

  • News
    • Local News
  • Business
    Airport Hills, Tema, Ashaiman to go without pipe-borne water beginning Wednesday

    Water tariffs up by 15.9%, electricity 9.8% from January 1, 2026

    GoldBod CEO honoured with 470-year-old Suma Adinkra sword

    GoldBod CEO honoured with 470-year-old Suma Adinkra sword

    NLA boss graduates as chartered professional administrator and management consultant

    NLA boss graduates as chartered professional administrator and management consultant

    Mahama cuts sod for major vegetable development project in Kukuom

    Mahama cuts sod for major vegetable development project in Kukuom

    Prez Mahama breaks ground for modern poultry, meat processing plant in Bechem

    Prez Mahama breaks ground for modern poultry, meat processing plant in Bechem

    BYDs move to build assembly plant signals fresh opportunities – Kojo Bonsu

    BYDs move to build assembly plant signals fresh opportunities – Kojo Bonsu

    China’s BYD plant in Ghana, a boost for jobs and economy – Kojo Bonsu

    China’s BYD plant in Ghana, a boost for jobs and economy – Kojo Bonsu

    The NLA caritas lottery platform: Growing and shaping brands through consumer promotions

    The NLA caritas lottery platform: Growing and shaping brands through consumer promotions

    DATCCU marks Golden Jubilee as CEO commends union’s growth in Ghana

    DATCCU marks Golden Jubilee as CEO commends union’s growth in Ghana

  • Education
    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Legon UTAG defies order to resume lectures

    GTEC halts UG’s distance learning centres over accreditation issues

    70 students collapsed after fire ravaged Kadjebi-Asato SHS boys’ dormitory

    70 students collapsed after fire ravaged Kadjebi-Asato SHS boys’ dormitory

    Education Minister to school heads: ‘Do not prevent any child from accessing education’

    Future of Free SHS under NDC in limbo – Former Deputy GES Director General

    Seidu Agongo: Drop in WASSCE 2025 performance – Reality check and opportunity for correction?

    Seidu Agongo: Drop in WASSCE 2025 performance – Reality check and opportunity for correction?

    Religious discrimination in public schools must end for an inclusive education – NCPTA

    NCTPA calls for immediate WASSCE remedials for candidates who did not pass

    BECE results key indicator of WASSCE performance – Prof Eric Anane

    BECE results key indicator of WASSCE performance – Prof Eric Anane

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    I don’t support categorization of SHS – William Boadi

  • Health
    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    Patients in danger as nurses head for NHS in UK – medics

    December 12 deadline set for posted medical officers to report to duty

    Gov’t pays salaries of 6,000 newly recruited nurses

    Gov’t pays salaries of 6,000 newly recruited nurses

    GMA condemns violent attack at Northern Regional Hospital

    Poor working conditions deter health officials from deprived area postings – GMA

    Gov’t to increase NHIS tariffs by 120% in 2026 – Health Minister

    Health Minister gives posted doctors ultimatum to report to duty

    Gov’t to increase NHIS tariffs by 120% in 2026 – Health Minister

    Zipline not serving hard-to-reach areas despite huge payments – Akandoh 

    Mahama directs rollout of free primary healthcare in 2026 – Health Minister

    Mahama directs rollout of free primary healthcare in 2026 – Health Minister

    • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
    Black Sherif opens up about the true story behind his song “Homeless”

    Black Sherif tops spotify’s streaming list in Ghana

    African Showboyz and GA Stars unite: A vibrant celebration of Ghanaian and Brazilian rhythms

    African Showboyz and GA Stars unite: A vibrant celebration of Ghanaian and Brazilian rhythms

    Kumasi Evangel Choir marks 13years of dedicated service

    Kumasi Evangel Choir marks 13years of dedicated service

    Baba Jamal and associates’ legal response for Fosu Royal Family

    Court rejects Akosua Serwaa’s German marriage claim to Daddy Lumba

    Medikal unveils new PR team following saga with Highest Eri

    Medikal unveils new PR team following saga with Highest Eri

    Mzbel explains why she has no interest in marriage

    Mzbel explains why she has no interest in marriage

    I see my money now – Nasty C talks life as an independent artiste

    I see my money now – Nasty C talks life as an independent artiste

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

    Respect emergency vehicles – D Cryme urges road users

    Respect emergency vehicles – D Cryme urges road users

  • Features
  • World
    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Premature shut down of Washington embassy dents Ghana’s Foreign Service – Minority

    Israel-Iran Conflict: Safety of Ghanaians must be national priority – Minority to gov’t

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

    USAID officials put on leave as Elon Musk says time for agency to ‘die’

    USAID officials put on leave as Elon Musk says time for agency to ‘die’

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Home Features

Mawuli Zogbenu: ‘Deep or wide?’

by Jerry Tsatro Mordy
August 24, 2023
in Features, Top Story
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Mawuli Zogbenu

Mawuli Zogbenu

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If you think banana and groundnut taste nice, then you’ve probably not tried groundnut and pawpaw before. If in doubt, try groundnut with hot pepper. Your eyes will pay for this combination especially when the oxygen required to quench the ‘heat’ is not sufficient.

Did you know that a more faithful girlfriend is the one who asks you for one thousand Ghana or GHC2000? She is reliable.

That is not to suggest that Ablavi who asks for only 30 cedis or below 200 cedis is not good o. I didn’t say you are likely to be a member of a susu company without knowing. 30 cedis here, 70 cedis there and 185 cedis there can sustain a savings and loans company. Ablavi used to ask me for 17 cedis and 23 cedis 50 cedis; very weird.

But she was very faithful to me. You see how selfish most men can be? You know you won’t marry Ablavi because you are already married but would want Ablavi to be faithful to you. Hoooo! Shame on me, sorry, us! Won’t you allow her to also search and settle down with one boozeman? Yes, that is the mind of men. When we break up with a lady, our secret prayer is that she should meet someone worse than us. Is it the same true with some ladies too? Ah ei! Let me walk pass! God is watching me and Frances!

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I thank God for taking me out of that peer game we call womanising! Some people don’t know that womanizing is a calling. Hehehehe! You say you want to bow to peer pressure. So I showed Gizo a place in town where he would get one easily. He went, met the gerl and didn’t know what to tell her.

At the end of the day he spent GHC500 on drinks and khebabs. He was so annoying to the lady asking unnecessary questions one of which is: ‘so do you like Hawusa koko with tea bread? Gizo is such a bad company er. I am sure that gerl regretted even sitting down at the same table with him.

He called me later in the evening to ask me what he must do. Ei, Awuchey, at 46, you want me to teach you what to do? Then the following day we met. I need to mentor this guy. I asked him to call the girl in my presence and say sweet things like ‘sweetheart, how are you?’

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My introvert friend had a problem with this one too. When he called, the girl picked and listen to Gizo: ‘Hello, is that sweetheart?’ I could not laugh. He didn’t know what to say but continuously repeating ‘is that sweetheart? I want to miss you’. Ey? Miss you s3s3n? I asked in him. Hmmm! The thing is a calling o, Gizo.

Thank God another weekend is here and we are still alive. You keep eating meat and sugar by hat and don’t check your blood pressure regularly and you are still alive thinking you are the best man in town? Continue!

This galamsey thing er. I don’t know what we can do about it again o. Look at the Prah River. This river used to be very deep and wide and the water, drinkable. Now, all you need is to buy tea bread, sit by the river banks, and drink tea from the deep and wide river.

Matter close. Simple. If you are already thinking about something else that can be wide and deep, may the Lord God take control of you and wash you with His anointing oil and ommo. Amen? Amen!
Years ago my late father told me that mineral resources are in my hometown too though I doubted him.

He said some decades ago, when some people tried to do galamsey there, it was the gods of the land that dealt with them especially knowing these activities had the propensity to pollute the water bodies. Could this be the reason galamsey is not happening in my hometown? Me I don’t know o, I am only ‘axing’.

Please don’t call me now; I am still sleeping. Ah!

Guys are bad. I just remembered the days I was a guy. Now I am no longer a guy; signs of old age have started showing. One of them is picking up the phone with the intention to call someone. The moment I try to call; I forget the name of the one I want to call. Man is growing. I am not that old but I still remember the days of ‘LT Buses’ face-to-face’ from Achimota to Kaneshie and Tema station to Nungua.

Sometimes, they start the engines of these vehicles from behind the car! Many of these vehicles don’t have key entry; they just connect some wires and away to Kaneshie and passengers would talk saaaaaa! We have really come a long way.

Those were the days me too I decided to take a girlfriend. Look at me too o, on a mission to take girlfriend. Hehehehe! Young ladies, abeg when you visit a guy whose room has only a bed without chairs, please don’t wait for one minute sef because he has evil intentions. Go back home. Otherwise where does he expect you to sit? If you sit on the bed, you are on your own. It means you have consented. In the legal space, you would be told ‘volenti non fit injuria’ to wit ‘no harm is done to a person who consents’! Me I tell you o unless you want to consent.

One such incident where I asked the lady to sit on the bed, I had a ‘wicked’ agendum in mind. I started doing my things and she hypocritically asked me: ‘what do you think you are doing’? as if she thought my intention was to fix a medal on her neck! Hmmm! Ladies, chair-less room with smelly perfume is a trap. Don’t be tempted to slap him because you can be charged for assault. Just lie down on the bed and cover yourself under the bedsheet and sleep. It is better to lie on the bed than to sit on it. Na swim you go swim o. Hahahaha!

If you have not found yourself at the wrong side of the law before, you would probably not know that in law courts, one slap contains one million charges. Intention to slap, one charge. Slapping itself, two charges. Slapping for it to sound, third charge. Slapee crying, forth charge. Slapee going deaf after the slap, you are finished. Slapee seeing stars after the slap, trouble. Slapee’s inability to describe how the stars look like, just faint because you have cause a serious damage to the slapee’s memory after the slap. Woe on to you if they tell you to prepare for jail bcos of your expertise in slapping, start crying!

I got to know there is a cat meat cold store at Domi market and surprised to see the number of cars that come there to buy frozen cat meat. This is ‘cat artificial intelligence’. I heard someone was sometime ago jailed in the western world because he killed a cat and used the meat for pepper soup. What a charge! In the cat stock market in Ghana, shares can go up or down depending on how the market behaves on the health of the cats.

A healthy male cat (Joseph) goes for GHC60. If it is a female cat (Josephine), it costs GHC50. If it is single, please you can’t use it to prepare pepper soup. If it is widowed, consideration is given to the deceased husband (Joseph) for leaving his poor wife behind and she may not be killed, at least not immediately but it will happen.

Glaucoma infested ones are free of charge.
Have a nice weekend and remember to go on leave; you are only as good to your employer so long as you are alive. Pretend to be dead from stress related ailments and see. The employer does not lose you; your family does! Take a break and go on vacation small! Ah!

Bye byeeeeee!

Tags: Deep or WideHumourMawuli Zogbenu
Jerry Tsatro Mordy

Jerry Tsatro Mordy

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