Have you realized that when a man’s sexual organs are at work, the brain stops working? Go and sin no more…Hahaaaaa! You are welcome to the world’s most ‘Useless Column – Don’t Read!’
So I started my career by first working in a guest house. The very first day I reported for work was February 15! Herh? I went out for break and never came back and switched my phone off.
Me to be cleaning those tainted bedsheets and emptying dustbins that contain what you can imagine? The rooms in which ‘protection’ is used are better. Wey kan job bi this one sef!
Yesterday just reminds me of this unnecessary experience. A certain reckless guy posted one of those images and mostly videos which we all like watching secretly for ‘feelings’ but condemn publicly. It was on one of my wassap platforms.
Come and see condemnation and attack! ‘we have to be very decorous when posting things like this on this noble platform. This nons**se must stop in 2026; it is simply not right.
These are highly immoral and should be condemned in no uncertain terms’. That was one of the several condemnation posts in reaction to the image posted.
First of all, I laughed and then paused to see what other people’s comments were going to be like; they were not different! Everybody is a critic so long as they are not the ones found at the other side.
After about two hours, I sarcastically posted a reaction and humbly asked ‘friends, please tell me, though unacceptable, how many of us here have, with all sincerity deleted that image and are not enjoying watching it secretly on our phones and still condemning it here? Kindly show by a thumbs up emoji!’. Surprisingly not even a single person ‘showed up’; everyone was wearing a mask!
Amazingly one of the ‘angels’ on the platform even sent me a message privately requesting me to ask the poster of the image to privately send him the video version. I don’t frown on watching those adult movies secretly.
They are the kind of movies which you start watching and regardless of which part you start watching from, you can still understand how it all started and can, with military precision, tell how it would end!
Oh this world of hypocrisy! We would condemn everything openly and secretly do otherwise! God forgive us all. I am one of those! Please allow me to feed my eyes small o. Ah ah! Y3nbr33y3!
My only problem is that some people abuse platforms with some horrendous images and videos and these are simply not the best. Let’s be responsible in the postings of some of these images and videos.
Some of these videos even depict plastic rice just to destroy some other brands! So you mean to say when you are eating plastic rice, you won’t know?
Ei! Or when you are using a condom during coitus, you won’t know? Haaba, Bra Emmah!
Anyway what is the use of wardrobes in guest houses?
Does anybody really use them? Please guest house owners, don’t waste your investments on wardrobes, the same way you have reduced the sizes of your bathing soaps. All we need are hangers and a table to put our clothes on and a good mattress with 3 pillows that can stand the ‘test of time’.
One pillow for me, one pillow for her and the other pillow to raise the ‘body’ for the ‘this thing’ to facilitate easy access and entry to the eyi! Ala! By the way, why do those wardrobes have such funny smells? A question for the gods to answer.
Easter is here again and I can assure you ‘evil’ will thrive! But if you want to be a stakeholder, book the cheaper ones early before they get fully booked. If you don’t get a room and the situation compels you to bend the front passenger seat in some one corner in the dark to improvise, police can arrest you for oplami!
How can your car engine be off yet can be seen swinging in the same position…see-saw up and down, see-saw up and down with small small noise coming from within! The last time I tried this, I didn’t succeed because the hand brake obstructed my ‘movement’! Not all of us are innocent.
Come to think of it, does anybody really read the Bibles we see in our hotel rooms? By the way, what is the Bible supposed to do in a hotel room where…hmmm?
Even in the church nowadays hardly do people go with the Bible. They pretend they have it on their phones but watch some videos ostensibly as if they are reading the scriptures being quoted by the pastor. Me too I do it o. While the church service is on-going that is when you would find me downloading ‘things of feelings’ using church wifi!
There is no better way to deceive oneself than this way! Lord God have mercy on us.
If only our wives knew that most of us, men are never really moved by make-ups, I am sure there will be nothing like make-ups. We too can pretend paaa o. We would tell you; ‘woooow’ this is stunning’ but deep within, we don’t like it.
In fact, we don’t care so long as a woman is naturally beautiful and herself! As for me, what moves me is a lady with pony tail hair style. Aish! It weakens my morals. Men won’t tell you the truth. ‘Woooow! Nice haircut, ‘angelic kujo’! It’s a lie o! Men like hairstyles a lot especially if it is fluffy and easy to play with and ‘spoil’.
Auntie, you may spend money on your hair and we will love you more as we feel yiiiiii in our waists but you may just be wasting money on make-ups if you think you are impressing me, Fatima. Anyway the last time I told her this truth, she said she does not do that necessarily because she wants to impress me but because she does so to feel good as a woman! That’s all! I see! Ayooo!
Did you know that our parents simply lied to us for a good reason? When you were a kid, were you not convinced by what they told you that when you mistakenly swallow orange seed, it will germinate on your head?
Enjoy the weekend and remember: don’t use your tongue where it is not supposed to be used; your throat will pain you! What a useless advice! Hahaaaaaa!
