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    EC postpones District Assembly, Unit Committee by-elections

    Ukraine-Russia crisis: Asking Ghanaian students to find safe shelter ‘petrifying’ – Okudzeto Ablakwa

    Ghana expresses concern over post-election violence in Tanzania

    NPP decides: Over 30,000 delegates to vote in Ashanti Region

    Justin Kodua underscores NPP constitutional amendment to strengthen party

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    NPP’s verification exercise to guarantee free, fair primaries – Justin Kodua

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Three standing trial over Odododiodio election violence – Interior Minister

    Gov’t constitutes mediation team to resolve Gbiniyiri conflict

    Full text: Interior ministers’ briefing on 2020 and 2024 election violence

    Prof. Alidu Seidu wins NDC’s Tamale Central Parliamentary Primary

    Prof. Alidu Seidu wins NDC’s Tamale Central Parliamentary Primary

    NPP decides: Over 30,000 delegates to vote in Ashanti Region

    NPP issues guidelines for registration of additional delegates inclusion

    Escort of NDC’s Azorka and NPP’s Vice Chair clash at Akwatia

    NPP condemns death threat, assault by NDC officials at Akwatia by-election

  • Politics
    I see Mahama seeking ‘third term’ bid…and he will win – Prophet Roja

    I see Mahama seeking ‘third term’ bid…and he will win – Prophet Roja

    NPP primaries: Dominic Nitiwul accused of playing tribal cards in Bimbilla

    NPP primaries: Dominic Nitiwul accused of playing tribal cards in Bimbilla

    2025 WASSCE results have no political connotations – Dr. Sammy Ayeh

    NPP’s sudden silence on perceived ‘dumsor’ interesting – Dr. Ayeh

    150,000 first-year tertiary students benefited from ‘No fee stress policy’- Dr. Sammy Ayeh

    NPP were living ‘champagne life’ on ‘akpeteshie budget’ – Presidential Aide

    Baba Kamara stays with ECOWAS observation mission in the wake of crisis

    Baba Kamara stays with ECOWAS observation mission in the wake of crisis

    Collaborate with security agencies to combat potential terrorist threats – Former First Lady

    Nana Konadu Agyeman-Rawlings goes home today

    Atta Akyea achieved nothing with his 20 years at the Bar – Ken Agyapong’s lead campainger fires

    Atta Akyea achieved nothing with his 20 years at the Bar – Ken Agyapong’s lead campainger fires

    We shall remain resolute despite gov’t’ ‘persecution’ – Afenyo-Markin

    Ruling on Kpandai Parliamentary seat amounts to electoral anarchy – Minority Leader

    Minority Caucus from Northern sector pays courtesy call on Akufo-Addo

    Minority Caucus from Northern sector pays courtesy call on Akufo-Addo

  • News
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  • Business
    Airport Hills, Tema, Ashaiman to go without pipe-borne water beginning Wednesday

    Water tariffs up by 15.9%, electricity 9.8% from January 1, 2026

    GoldBod CEO honoured with 470-year-old Suma Adinkra sword

    GoldBod CEO honoured with 470-year-old Suma Adinkra sword

    NLA boss graduates as chartered professional administrator and management consultant

    NLA boss graduates as chartered professional administrator and management consultant

    Mahama cuts sod for major vegetable development project in Kukuom

    Mahama cuts sod for major vegetable development project in Kukuom

    Prez Mahama breaks ground for modern poultry, meat processing plant in Bechem

    Prez Mahama breaks ground for modern poultry, meat processing plant in Bechem

    BYDs move to build assembly plant signals fresh opportunities – Kojo Bonsu

    BYDs move to build assembly plant signals fresh opportunities – Kojo Bonsu

    China’s BYD plant in Ghana, a boost for jobs and economy – Kojo Bonsu

    China’s BYD plant in Ghana, a boost for jobs and economy – Kojo Bonsu

    The NLA caritas lottery platform: Growing and shaping brands through consumer promotions

    The NLA caritas lottery platform: Growing and shaping brands through consumer promotions

    DATCCU marks Golden Jubilee as CEO commends union’s growth in Ghana

    DATCCU marks Golden Jubilee as CEO commends union’s growth in Ghana

  • Education
    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Over 1,000 pupils in Krachi Nchumuru District receive free school uniforms

    Legon UTAG defies order to resume lectures

    GTEC halts UG’s distance learning centres over accreditation issues

    70 students collapsed after fire ravaged Kadjebi-Asato SHS boys’ dormitory

    70 students collapsed after fire ravaged Kadjebi-Asato SHS boys’ dormitory

    Education Minister to school heads: ‘Do not prevent any child from accessing education’

    Future of Free SHS under NDC in limbo – Former Deputy GES Director General

    Seidu Agongo: Drop in WASSCE 2025 performance – Reality check and opportunity for correction?

    Seidu Agongo: Drop in WASSCE 2025 performance – Reality check and opportunity for correction?

    Religious discrimination in public schools must end for an inclusive education – NCPTA

    NCTPA calls for immediate WASSCE remedials for candidates who did not pass

    BECE results key indicator of WASSCE performance – Prof Eric Anane

    BECE results key indicator of WASSCE performance – Prof Eric Anane

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    Ghana’s education system overly focused on examinations worrying – Educate Africa Institute

    I don’t support categorization of SHS – William Boadi

  • Health
    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    Ghana reports 12 new Mpox cases as total reaches 908

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    GHS reaffirms commitment to disability-inclusive healthcare

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    UNFPA donates equipment to boost maternal health

    Patients in danger as nurses head for NHS in UK – medics

    December 12 deadline set for posted medical officers to report to duty

    Gov’t pays salaries of 6,000 newly recruited nurses

    Gov’t pays salaries of 6,000 newly recruited nurses

    GMA condemns violent attack at Northern Regional Hospital

    Poor working conditions deter health officials from deprived area postings – GMA

    Gov’t to increase NHIS tariffs by 120% in 2026 – Health Minister

    Health Minister gives posted doctors ultimatum to report to duty

    Gov’t to increase NHIS tariffs by 120% in 2026 – Health Minister

    Zipline not serving hard-to-reach areas despite huge payments – Akandoh 

    Mahama directs rollout of free primary healthcare in 2026 – Health Minister

    Mahama directs rollout of free primary healthcare in 2026 – Health Minister

    • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
    Black Sherif opens up about the true story behind his song “Homeless”

    Black Sherif tops spotify’s streaming list in Ghana

    African Showboyz and GA Stars unite: A vibrant celebration of Ghanaian and Brazilian rhythms

    African Showboyz and GA Stars unite: A vibrant celebration of Ghanaian and Brazilian rhythms

    Kumasi Evangel Choir marks 13years of dedicated service

    Kumasi Evangel Choir marks 13years of dedicated service

    Baba Jamal and associates’ legal response for Fosu Royal Family

    Court rejects Akosua Serwaa’s German marriage claim to Daddy Lumba

    Medikal unveils new PR team following saga with Highest Eri

    Medikal unveils new PR team following saga with Highest Eri

    Mzbel explains why she has no interest in marriage

    Mzbel explains why she has no interest in marriage

    I see my money now – Nasty C talks life as an independent artiste

    I see my money now – Nasty C talks life as an independent artiste

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

    Lumba’s funeral controversy: ‘Side chicks’ are not wise -Sally Mann

    Respect emergency vehicles – D Cryme urges road users

    Respect emergency vehicles – D Cryme urges road users

  • Features
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    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Premature shut down of Washington embassy dents Ghana’s Foreign Service – Minority

    Israel-Iran Conflict: Safety of Ghanaians must be national priority – Minority to gov’t

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    World Cup 2026: Argentina qualify ahead of Brazil showdown

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    Heavyweight boxing legend George Foreman dies aged 76

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

    The truth behind presidential sunglasses: Why leaders like Mahama wear them

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Home Features

Mawuli Zogbenu: Transparent ‘Abɛ nkwan’

by Jerry Tsatro Mordy
February 28, 2021
in Features, Top Story
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Mawuli Zogbenu

Mawuli Zogbenu

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The most confident man is the man who goes for a job interview and tells the panelists after he has been asked ‘can you take pressure?’ and he answers: ‘I owe my landlord rent for 2 and half years’.

They are some of the people who can take-over your property if you make them care-takers (hw3so mami) of your uncompleted buildings if you want to be the Mr. or Ms. Good Person’ o. I hope you remember ‘Akwetey Police’ who nearly succeeded in using the property I made him to be a care-taker of as collateral to go and take a loan o! Be advised o, yoo!

Some things are better kept a secret. Don’t be transparent about everything. How can you tell your wife you have been paying fees for a young lady at the university? Or better still tell her because the two shall become one, slay Q Angela gets you upset and for that matter, you rush to your wife to confess to her. Go ahead! Hmmmm!

This is probably one of the reasons I have a problem with people who call themselves ‘Solomon’ yet have only one wife. Waste of name for nothing!

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Ehern come to think of it, when the white-man says it is a crime to have more than one Christian wife, can we Africans also go and rent an office in oyibo-land for Polygamists Association Secretariat? All we need to say is that we want to be an NGO! In fact, I think the membership will be so huge that we may need several hectares of land to build an office for polygamists. Polygamy and that disgusting thing, which one must be discouraged? Ah!

I still cannot believe that this disgusting thing really exists. Ah! The way God has planned it for man and woman to enjoy each other paa and I hear discussions about this ‘iron-enter-iron’ thing, I feel nauseous. Ah!

Eiiii. I just remembered the dream I had about someone last weekend o. Dreams can be funny er. You are driving and before you know it, you are being driven. And then the next thing you see in the dream, you are climbing a mango tree to pluck coconut! Sometimes, you see bundles of 200 ghana notes being given to you and then you wake up and your wallet is ‘spacious’!

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In the dream I had last week er, hmmm; I pray I never have such a dream again. I was in the bathroom with this single lady who has ‘denied me access’ for many years so I gave up. I don’t know where this dream came from. I saw her in my dream. In the dream, she was bathing and I was in the bathroom too. She was standing in front of me, still bathing. I drooled!

Honestly I don’t know what brought me to the bathroom in which she was. I was controlling myself in the dream until the soap she was bathing with fell on the floor and she bent down to pick it while in front of me! OMG!

At that point I told myself what can come; even some preacher men could fall. Then I heard a knock on my main gate that woke me up. Ah! Ah! Ah! It was the guy who has been collecting my refuse (borla) who was coming for his money for the month! I almost cursed him and abrogated the contract between me and him for denying me access to the ‘promised land’

Kweku, abeg, if this is the first time you are reading from me, then you have a problem o. There is nothing useful here o. Hahahahaha. All I talk about is basaaaa….chakaaaaaa. Non-fa nkoaaa!

Total abstract with nothing to learn from but it releases stress but one thing is for sure: ‘Don’t Read’ because there is no order. One moment, a story starts and the next moment another story enters and disrupts it. Don’t mind the author. They are all lies ooo….hahahahahaha!

Do you know the worst scammer in the world? He is that vegetarian who tells you he doesn’t eat cow meat but prefers to eat wele. If you don’t fear such a person, follow him and you are doomed o, yoo. Some of them claim they don’t drink alcohol; go and smell the malt bottle they sent their children with and you would understand why the palm tree is arguably the most useful plant nature has given us; everything can be gotten from it including palm wine from which akpeteshie is distilled!

They are the same people who would tell you not to eat cow meat because the fat of the cow will accumulate in your stomach. Where do the cows get the fat from? From the grass they chew? We like deceiving ourselves o, debida!

I was at a joint around the December inside last year and saw this nice place and decided to make myself happy with fufu and abenkwan (palm nut soup) as displayed on their signpost. You won’t believe this. Lord God have mercy. Some people don’t know how to cook o, yet they have adopted catering as their business. What I saw was plain water that looked like apple fruit juice.

The soup was so transparent I could see the fish and meat at the bottom. So badly prepared as if it was purgative and sadly the waitress was so proud of having served me the best lunch of her life. She first wasted my time. You know how annoying it can be when you enter an eating place and the first thing they bring to you is water to wash your hands with.

The next thing is to bring tissue. Then they delay you for 20-30 minutes before the food arrives. Auntie, is it food I want to eat or water to wash my hands with? Know your customers’ priorities o. this was what the lady did to me.

I was so disappointed and asked her to go back to catering school. As far as I am concerned, the abenkwan must be thick and opaque such that sometimes one requires fork and knife to cut it. The lady, feeling embarrassed at my outburst defended herself by saying that the customers who come to eat there prefer the abenkwan to be light. I told her it was a lie unless of course eno bi Ghana we dey!

I looked around and realized there was only one other person in the chop bar. The others went to a nearby joint where they sold the same fufu and abenkwan but what misled me to this transparent abenkwan base was the signpost. It was so beautifully designed with nice pictures of thick abenkwan but the opposite was the case. The other joint being patronized by more people had no signpost!

That is why it is dangerous to be judgmental. What you see in others, chances are that, they exist in you. You see, when you see a man and a 26-year old single lady entering a guest house at odd hours, what comes to your mind? Whatever comes to mind is bcos you have been there before and as to whether you went there to fast and pray, God dey watch we all o, yooo. Every human being is both good and bad including you and I, or?

Greetings to my Assistant, Samuel Arthur Oduro (Macho-man), who is so full of ideas and energy that he went to the gym and broke his leg. Hahahahahaha! Macho, remember COVID is real o, yoo.

Tags: HumorTransparent
Jerry Tsatro Mordy

Jerry Tsatro Mordy

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