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    We want practical solutions not political slogans – Sammi Awuku to Mahama

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    Zoomlion MD honoured at 11th Ghana Women of Excellence Awards

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    Krombacher-Adonko partnership will enhance economy – former German MP Volkmar Klein 

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    About 30,000 SHS graduates may get chance to re-sit WASSCE maths – Education Minister

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    GHS marks world glaucoma week 2026: Calls for eye screening to prevent irreversible blindness

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    Health Ministry sets up probe into engineer’s death after alleged emergency care denial

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    Tamale Teaching Hospital confirms faulty oxygen plant but assures public of adequate supply

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    AMA announces six-month jail term for defaulters of March 7 sanitation exercise

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    Minority Leader urges Mahama administration to complete the Agenda 111 projects

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    Lordina Foundation hands over maternity and children’s hospital to Asukawkaw

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    Thank you for my wife’s release – Agradaa’s husband to Mahama

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    I’m the best husband for Agradaa – Angel Asiamah declares support for wife’s ministry

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    Ablakwa meets heads of the missions of US, Israel and Iran over Middle East tensions

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    AU concerned about U.S. military strikes on Iran

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    Ghana seeks international arbitration over maritime boundary dispute with Togo

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    Mahama reaffirms solidarity with Kenya at Jamhuri day celebration

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    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

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    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

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    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

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    Baba Jamal wins Ayawaso East by-election

    Baba Jamal wins Ayawaso East by-election

    Police organize show of force ahead of Ayawaso East by-election

    Police organize show of force ahead of Ayawaso East by-election

    My popularity in Ayawaso East stems from integrity, not inducement – Baba Jamal

    I never shared television at Ayawaso by-election – Baba Jamal

    My popularity in Ayawaso East stems from integrity, not inducement – Baba Jamal

    Baba Jamal appears before committee probing vote-buying claims in Ayawaso East

    NPP presidential election committee commends police for peaceful primary

    NPP presidential election committee commends police for peaceful primary

    Ghana and Qatar begin implementation of Labour Mobility Agreement

    We tricked NPP by urging them to vote Ken Agyapong as flagbearer – Kwakye-Ackah

    We’ve already handed the steer to you – Obuasi Chiefs hail Bawumia

    Bawumi’s election as 2028 flagbearer is ‘sweet victory for the NPP’ – Krobea Asante

    ‘Ghana is ripe for a coup’ – Asiedu Nketia warns

    NDC congratulates NPP on peaceful presidential primary

    Sammy Gyamfi to Dr. Bawumia – It is embarrassing to polled less than 62% votes

    Bawumia vows to leverage a united NPP for victory in 2028 elections

  • Politics

    Ghana @ 69: Mahama deserves applause for economic prudence – Ayaba

    Ghanaians still exhibit colonial mentality – Odike

    Africans must unite amid global crisis – Mahama Ayaba

    TOR needs more investment to expand its operations – Ayaba

    Partisan politics a major setback to TOR progress – Odike

    Africans must unite amid global crisis – Mahama Ayaba

    Africans must unite amid global crisis – Mahama Ayaba

    We want practical solutions not political slogans – Sammi Awuku to Mahama

    We want practical solutions not political slogans – Sammi Awuku to Mahama

    President Mahama is enabler of ‘galamsey’ – Former Suame MCE

    President Mahama is enabler of ‘galamsey’ – Former Suame MCE

    Afenyo-Markins’ hospital proposal unconscionable, misplaced priority – Concerned Farmers

    Afenyo-Markin retracts claim of recruitment irregularities after referral to Privileges Committee

    Ghana’s cocoa price is not determined by international market fluctuation – Dr. Yaw Opoku

    Ghana’s cocoa price is not determined by international market fluctuation – Dr. Yaw Opoku

  • News
    • Local News
  • Business
    COMSSA Men’s Cook-Off redefines gender narratives through culinary showdown

    COMSSA Men’s Cook-Off redefines gender narratives through culinary showdown

    FuelTrade donates GHS 1 million to GETFund

    FuelTrade donates GHS 1 million to GETFund

    GTA CEO honoured at the 2026 Women of Excellence Awards

    GTA CEO honoured at the 2026 Women of Excellence Awards

    Zoomlion MD honoured at 11th Ghana Women of Excellence Awards

    Zoomlion MD honoured at 11th Ghana Women of Excellence Awards

    We’re in the final stage of setting up the Women’s Development Bank – Prez Mahama

    We’re in the final stage of setting up the Women’s Development Bank – Prez Mahama

    Richard Nii Armah Quaye gifts loyal customer GH₵50,000 on valentine’s day

    Richard Nii Armah Quaye to gift 1,000 gold tablets to followers on his birthday

    Ghana signs debt restructuring agreement with Belgium

    Ghana signs debt restructuring agreement with Belgium

    Krombacher-Adonko partnership will enhance economy – former German MP Volkmar Klein 

    Krombacher-Adonko partnership will enhance economy – former German MP Volkmar Klein 

    Alhaji Seidu Agongo: Ghana’s fragile gains and the gathering global storm – a call for collective effort

    Alhaji Seidu Agongo: Ghana’s fragile gains and the gathering global storm – a call for collective effort

  • Education
    TVET is key to financial freedom and youth development – Franklin Kobla

    TVET is key to financial freedom and youth development – Franklin Kobla

    FuelTrade donates GHS 1 million to GETFund

    FuelTrade donates GHS 1 million to GETFund

    About 30,000 SHS graduates may get chance to re-sit WASSCE maths – Education Minister

    About 30,000 SHS graduates may get chance to re-sit WASSCE maths – Education Minister

    GES denounces ‘fake’ promotion examination workshop

    GES denounces ‘fake’ promotion examination workshop

    Alhaji Seidu Agongo shares Ramadan blessings with Accra Academy Muslim students

    Alhaji Seidu Agongo shares Ramadan blessings with Accra Academy Muslim students

    Prez Mahama urges youth to leverage on smartphones for sustainable growth

    Prez Mahama urges youth to leverage on smartphones for sustainable growth

    Ga Central MCE pledges ₵10,000 reward for top BECE student

    Ga Central MCE pledges ₵10,000 reward for top BECE student

    Serwaa Akoto

    Serwaa Akoto: Happy Independence Day to the girl-child

    Deputy Education Minister announces 20% salary top-up for teachers posted in rural areas

    Deputy Education Minister announces 20% salary top-up for teachers posted in rural areas

  • Health
    Softcare FM manufacturing Ltd. partners vice-presidential initiative to advance menstrual health in Ghana

    Softcare FM manufacturing Ltd. partners vice-presidential initiative to advance menstrual health in Ghana

    GHS marks world glaucoma week 2026: Calls for eye screening to prevent irreversible blindness

    GHS marks world glaucoma week 2026: Calls for eye screening to prevent irreversible blindness

    Health Ministry sets up probe into engineer’s death after alleged emergency care denial

    Health Ministry sets up probe into engineer’s death after alleged emergency care denial

    Tamale Teaching Hospital confirms faulty oxygen plant but assures public of adequate supply

    Tamale Teaching Hospital confirms faulty oxygen plant but assures public of adequate supply

    AMA announces six-month jail term for defaulters of March 7 sanitation exercise

    AMA announces six-month jail term for defaulters of March 7 sanitation exercise

    Minority Leader urges Mahama administration to complete the Agenda 111 projects

    Minority Leader urges Mahama administration to complete the Agenda 111 projects

    Lordina Foundation hands over maternity and children’s hospital to Asukawkaw

    Lordina Foundation hands over maternity and children’s hospital to Asukawkaw

    David and Angela Leo-Nkoah: The patients’ rights nobody told you about

    David and Angela Leo-Nkoah: The patients’ rights nobody told you about

    Health Minister implements name tag policy for health professionals

    Nalerigu Nurses and Midwifery College principal suspended over unauthorized admissions

    • Lifestyle
  • Entertainment
    I made the right choice in signing Wendy Shay – Bullet

    I made the right choice in signing Wendy Shay – Bullet

    ‘Music is a language’ – Sarkodie on why he raps in Twi despite global success

    Sarkodie reacts to retirement rumours with “Farm Life in Axim” comment

    Thank you for my wife’s release – Agradaa’s husband to Mahama

    Thank you for my wife’s release – Agradaa’s husband to Mahama

    ‘Music is a language’ – Sarkodie on why he raps in Twi despite global success

    Sarkodie targets 20,000-capacity O2 Arena for rapperholic UK 2027

    I’m the best husband for Agradaa – Angel Asiamah declares support for wife’s ministry

    I’m the best husband for Agradaa – Angel Asiamah declares support for wife’s ministry

    Eddie Nartey

    Actors’ failure to promote films is killing industry – Eddie Nartey

    ET Mensah musician

    Ghana at 69: Gen Z blends highlife and hiplife to celebrate Independence

    I am not dead – Paa George speaks

    Emelia Brobbey ignored my calls in desperate times – Paa George

    TikToker arrested over alleged defamation of Apostle Francis Amoako Attah

    TikToker arrested over alleged defamation of Apostle Francis Amoako Attah

  • Features
  • World
    Ablakwa meets heads of the missions of US, Israel and Iran over Middle East tensions

    Ablakwa meets heads of the missions of US, Israel and Iran over Middle East tensions

    AU concerned about U.S. military strikes on Iran

    AU concerned about U.S. military strikes on Iran

    Ghana seeks international arbitration over maritime boundary dispute with Togo

    Ghana seeks international arbitration over maritime boundary dispute with Togo

    Mahama reaffirms solidarity with Kenya at Jamhuri day celebration

    Mahama reaffirms solidarity with Kenya at Jamhuri day celebration

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Israeli troops kill municipal worker in south Lebanon raid

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Keeping the historical memory: Latin America’s participation in World War II

    Premature shut down of Washington embassy dents Ghana’s Foreign Service – Minority

    Israel-Iran Conflict: Safety of Ghanaians must be national priority – Minority to gov’t

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

    Cardinal Leo XIV elected as first American pope

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    IMF warns that U.S. tariffs could destabilize global economy

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Home Features

Mawuli Zogbenu: Transparent ‘Abɛ nkwan’

by Jerry Tsatro Mordy
February 26, 2021
in Features, Top Story
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Mawuli Zogbenu

Mawuli Zogbenu

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The most confident man is the man who goes for a job interview and tells the panelists after he has been asked ‘can you take pressure?’ and he answers: ‘I owe my landlord rent for 2 and half years’.

They are some of the people who can take-over your property if you make them care-takers (hw3so mami) of your uncompleted buildings if you want to be the Mr. or Ms. Good Person’ o. I hope you remember ‘Akwetey Police’ who nearly succeeded in using the property I made him to be a care-taker of as collateral to go and take a loan o! Be advised o, yoo!

Some things are better kept a secret. Don’t be transparent about everything. How can you tell your wife you have been paying fees for a young lady at the university? Or better still tell her because the two shall become one, slay Q Angela gets you upset and for that matter, you rush to your wife to confess to her. Go ahead! Hmmmm!

This is probably one of the reasons I have a problem with people who call themselves ‘Solomon’ yet have only one wife. Waste of name for nothing!

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Ehern come to think of it, when the white-man says it is a crime to have more than one Christian wife, can we Africans also go and rent an office in oyibo-land for Polygamists Association Secretariat? All we need to say is that we want to be an NGO! In fact, I think the membership will be so huge that we may need several hectares of land to build an office for polygamists. Polygamy and that disgusting thing, which one must be discouraged? Ah!

I still cannot believe that this disgusting thing really exists. Ah! The way God has planned it for man and woman to enjoy each other paa and I hear discussions about this ‘iron-enter-iron’ thing, I feel nauseous. Ah!

Eiiii. I just remembered the dream I had about someone last weekend o. Dreams can be funny er. You are driving and before you know it, you are being driven. And then the next thing you see in the dream, you are climbing a mango tree to pluck coconut! Sometimes, you see bundles of 200 ghana notes being given to you and then you wake up and your wallet is ‘spacious’!

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In the dream I had last week er, hmmm; I pray I never have such a dream again. I was in the bathroom with this single lady who has ‘denied me access’ for many years so I gave up. I don’t know where this dream came from. I saw her in my dream. In the dream, she was bathing and I was in the bathroom too. She was standing in front of me, still bathing. I drooled!

Honestly I don’t know what brought me to the bathroom in which she was. I was controlling myself in the dream until the soap she was bathing with fell on the floor and she bent down to pick it while in front of me! OMG!

At that point I told myself what can come; even some preacher men could fall. Then I heard a knock on my main gate that woke me up. Ah! Ah! Ah! It was the guy who has been collecting my refuse (borla) who was coming for his money for the month! I almost cursed him and abrogated the contract between me and him for denying me access to the ‘promised land’

Kweku, abeg, if this is the first time you are reading from me, then you have a problem o. There is nothing useful here o. Hahahahaha. All I talk about is basaaaa….chakaaaaaa. Non-fa nkoaaa!

Total abstract with nothing to learn from but it releases stress but one thing is for sure: ‘Don’t Read’ because there is no order. One moment, a story starts and the next moment another story enters and disrupts it. Don’t mind the author. They are all lies ooo….hahahahahaha!

Do you know the worst scammer in the world? He is that vegetarian who tells you he doesn’t eat cow meat but prefers to eat wele. If you don’t fear such a person, follow him and you are doomed o, yoo. Some of them claim they don’t drink alcohol; go and smell the malt bottle they sent their children with and you would understand why the palm tree is arguably the most useful plant nature has given us; everything can be gotten from it including palm wine from which akpeteshie is distilled!

They are the same people who would tell you not to eat cow meat because the fat of the cow will accumulate in your stomach. Where do the cows get the fat from? From the grass they chew? We like deceiving ourselves o, debida!

I was at a joint around the December inside last year and saw this nice place and decided to make myself happy with fufu and abenkwan (palm nut soup) as displayed on their signpost. You won’t believe this. Lord God have mercy. Some people don’t know how to cook o, yet they have adopted catering as their business. What I saw was plain water that looked like apple fruit juice.

The soup was so transparent I could see the fish and meat at the bottom. So badly prepared as if it was purgative and sadly the waitress was so proud of having served me the best lunch of her life. She first wasted my time. You know how annoying it can be when you enter an eating place and the first thing they bring to you is water to wash your hands with.

The next thing is to bring tissue. Then they delay you for 20-30 minutes before the food arrives. Auntie, is it food I want to eat or water to wash my hands with? Know your customers’ priorities o. this was what the lady did to me.

I was so disappointed and asked her to go back to catering school. As far as I am concerned, the abenkwan must be thick and opaque such that sometimes one requires fork and knife to cut it. The lady, feeling embarrassed at my outburst defended herself by saying that the customers who come to eat there prefer the abenkwan to be light. I told her it was a lie unless of course eno bi Ghana we dey!

I looked around and realized there was only one other person in the chop bar. The others went to a nearby joint where they sold the same fufu and abenkwan but what misled me to this transparent abenkwan base was the signpost. It was so beautifully designed with nice pictures of thick abenkwan but the opposite was the case. The other joint being patronized by more people had no signpost!

That is why it is dangerous to be judgmental. What you see in others, chances are that, they exist in you. You see, when you see a man and a 26-year old single lady entering a guest house at odd hours, what comes to your mind? Whatever comes to mind is bcos you have been there before and as to whether you went there to fast and pray, God dey watch we all o, yooo. Every human being is both good and bad including you and I, or?

Greetings to my Assistant, Samuel Arthur Oduro (Macho-man), who is so full of ideas and energy that he went to the gym and broke his leg. Hahahahahaha! Macho, remember COVID is real o, yoo.

Tags: HumorTransparent
Jerry Tsatro Mordy

Jerry Tsatro Mordy

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