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The best way to become a mechanic without going to train to become one is to buy and drive a rickety car.
The other advantage is that you would have the contact numbers of all the mechanics and their associates in town saved on your mobile phone.
‘Kofi Timing Belt’, ‘Sulley Auto Electrician’, ‘Sammy Engine Block 2’, ‘Korshie Welder Baah-yard’, ‘Tony Clutch up and Down’, Jacob Shock absorbers Kisseman’, etc. Continue saving their contacts; you may never know when and where your rickety car would break down!
Ladies and gentlemen, age is not on our side o. It is the desire of every husband to make his wife come first…to the house to cook but because age is catching up on some of us the husbands, we tend to take the lead in coming home first and that is not right!
This advice is not about work or cooking. This goes to some of our wives who may be demanding too much from us, their husbands.
We are getting weak o! If you don’t come home early, we are compelled to use aphrodisiacs some of which may affect our livers and kidneys.
If you like don’t come first; we would have been done and off first so that we can go and have some rest! Happy New Year.
And a happy New Yeaarrrrrrrrr to all those who have been asked not to be reading these ‘useless articles’ but are still drawn to reading them. God bless you for making life easy for those who don’t read; they are not serious. Don’t mind them….hahahahahaa!
We are back again with unnecessary resolutions and abstract things like losing weight in 2025. Hmmm! There was a debate on a platform yesterday regarding resolutions for the year.
It was about the ‘things’ we would like to drop in 2025. So it went like: ‘If you were to choose between a troubling car and a troubling spouse, which one would you do away with?’
The responses were interesting! Somebody’s comment was this: ‘My brother, I will choose my car and do away with my spouse. If your spouse wants to worry you er, you would sit on the WC and be looking for a seatbelt’.
There were other responses that aligned with what was captured in the scriptures that if your right hand is making you ‘sin’ (in context), cut it off’. Some said they would rather reconcile with their spouses though marital problems solved could come up again.
Spousal problems no dey finish, same as spousal sweetness – bitter-sweet! It’s like day and night!
Some others said they would do away with their cars and keep their spouses though problem cars can also give you hell – the moment you fix your broken sump, the tail lights refuse to work; Kokompe and Magazine become your second homes. Cars? Spouses? Whichever way, they would both give you headache so let’s just manage.
We are all managing, no be so? Don’t rush to put a FOR SALE tag on any of them in 2025 because you may never know what problems their replacements would bring. A little patience and it shall be well from 2025 going. Amen!
Welcome to Parliament o, all new MPs. As to how you made it, I always see it as a very difficult decision to make, especially if you don’t know whether you are going to win or not.
No one would really tell you in the face that: ‘my Brother, my Sister, you would lose’. Everyone would give you hope until…hmmm!
But I think there is still something more difficult than contesting an election to become an MP – that is to be advised to lose weight. Eish! How the rich wish scientists should have been able to develop ‘exercising capsules’ by now.
Even the richest people cannot do it without some immeasurable level of discomfort. Jog, walk, throw yourself about head down, legs stretched, stomach pumped, and so many instructions from some gym instructors some of whom are more than soldiers. Alla!
Treadmills may only consume your prepaid credit. Who says registering to be going to the gym is not that easy? Starting may be easy but how sustainable it will be being the next question to ask yourself.
Medications won’t help (from my own experience). Dieting is not an easy task. Those of us who used to eat fufu and banku, may be unrepentant. Rice and oily food dominate our diets making it more difficult to achieve losing weight. As for fasting to lose weight? Some of do so only when we are broke!
The above notwithstanding, by all means, exercise your body! Being overweight is not a good thing.
If this is the first time you are reading something like this, you are not really welcome if you would have to read it. Just welcome me first and then you would be welcomed…Hahahaha!
This is the only column that would make you feel some way and at the same time make you neither happy nor sad. It may sadden you but make you feel like laughing without reason! It is the worst thing to ever happen to conventional journalism.
The author has never been serious with any serious business especially if it is not serious! It would make you feel like never to read it again.
It is the only column that makes the dog say ‘it is for the sake of avoiding speculations that i decide to have sex outside in the open for everybody to see and bear me witness; no speculations’.
If you fail to read, you would not feel like reading anything again until you read it but remember…please DON’T READ! It’s weekend again and the beginning of the longest month with six thousand million days.
Unlike its brother, February which is also the most over-confident month of the year, January should be divided into two!
This should go to the 9th Parliament for consideration. Hahahahaha! February too has its own wahala. Whereas everybody is ending on either 30th or 31st, you alone, you think you will cut it short by remaining 28 this year.
You no see your brother January and how it relaxes when a new year pops up?
For those of you expecting me to give you a motivational message, I am sorry to disappoint you. If you want to give up, please go ahead; I am tired!
Those motivational speakers who would tell you they started their multi-billion-dollar poultry farm with only the feather of a hen are the people that inspire some people, not me. I can only do my best.
I can’t kill myself following such lies. Interestingly, some people actually pay money to attend the seminars of some of those motivational speakers and go back home hungry and convinced that they can bring the moon down in the course of the day. Continue o, yooo!
God bless this new year and beyond. Amen!
