Those of you who have been using car keys to remove dirt from your ears nu, one day your head will ‘spark’ like the car itself and you would find yourself running at the speed of 120 kilometers per hour.
The car key is meant to start the car not your head, Sammy; please don’t abuse it. As for the use of pen tops, it’s normal until it hits the nerves of your eardrum. Just make sure that the day you try using car key again, there would be no petrol in your ears otherwise before you know it…..vroooooooooommmm…pipiiiiiiiiiin! Hahahahaha!
It is weekend again and time to take it easy on ourselves. Life is not hard o. It is we that make it hard.
Prepare for exams, you say you won’t and when you fail, you would say ‘life is hard’. How! Some 15 years ago, I went to write an exam and the paper was not hard but I had no clue what I was seeing because I didn’t prepare well for the exam.
They painted a certain scenario and expected me to be the one to analyse it. Me too I was not prepared. One of the sub questions was this: ‘Can Mr. Heel sue Mr. Alanta for not accepting to be the owner of her daughter’s pregnancy?’. I knew I was going to fail that paper but before I do so, let me also give the examiner some work to do – the plan was to write anything unrelated just to fill the space with annoying answers.
In fact, the question required very detailed analysis of a technical area. It is not only Mathematics that I am weak at o; I am weak at almost everything…even nowadays in bed…sometimes. Please it is not what you are thinking o.
When I say I get weak in bed sometimes, I mean when it is Monday morning and I had to be the one to wake my alarm clock up, I feel weak. It is only when life’s problems keep you awake that you would realise that you can set the alarm to wake you up at a certain time but you would be the one to wake the alarm up!
Now back to that difficult exam. So this was how I answered that question: after all, weytin concern me with Mr. Heel’s own problem and her daughter’s pregnancy? Then examiner brought it for me to solve!
So I went like this: ‘As a matter of fact, since Mr. Heel used to be an employee of Mr Alanta, he can sue him’. That was the first sentence as my answer. Then I continued; ‘the law says Mr Heel can sue only if it is established through DNA that he is the one. Since the examiner also thinks so and everybody writing this exam knows that Mr Heel must sue, who am I to say Mr Heel should not sue; therefore, Mr. Heel yei, go ahead and sue Mr Alanta’.
I felt good with these answers knowing that I had already failed in advance. Who cares!
I was done answering sub-question (a) of main question 1! As for the results, your guess is as good as mine – if there was any grade worse than grade F, that is what I deserved! Alla!
The BECE candidates are writing their exams and I wish all candidates ten ones! Some candidates in my village may be chewing the tops of their pens without knowing what to write. It is only in my village that the pen tops become toffee; they will chew and chew and chew!
And pray for the ‘stop work, pens down’ instruction so they can go home and rest! The fortunate ones would make it to the big schools but the rest, the computer would know how to find their’ X’. T
hey would do well and swim in swimming pool when they succeed later in life. God should see them through! Amen!
Schooling can be interesting but there is one common denominator that runs through all levels from primary 1 to PhD. We want to go to school, fill forms, pay fees but we don’t like classes koraaa. In Primary 5, the message comes through the class prefect that the Maths teacher says he is not feeling well so no class and then we jubilate!
We continue to the secondary school, the value is the same. At the bachelor’s degree level, the story is sweeter: ‘lecturer says no lectures today, hurrayyyyyyy’! It is even sweeter at the Masters level and beyond. Just pray for the lecturer’s car to develop a flat tyre while on his way to class so class will be cancelled.
What I personally hated so much was when the class leader comes to announce that the lecturer says he will be late; late for where? Just cancel the class and let’s go our somewhere.
The sweetness comes in only when in 20 minutes later, the class leader comes back to announce that ‘the Company Law lecturer says he cannot come at all’! That is when you see adults jubilating.
There is usually a lady who wears spectacles who is often disappointed when the lecturer fails to come to teach. She would likely be the one who would remind a lecturer that an assignment is due for submission. Boys boys at this point would feel like….kikikiki!
The lazy ones like me will vex…just because I have not done the assignment! Ajeeei! Hmmm!
In spite of all of these ‘negative’ prayers, we are hopeful we would pass our exams at the end of the term / semester!
If we fail to pass, we blame the lecturer. If we get a grade C, we would say ‘he gave me a ‘C’ o’. If your grade is an ‘A’, then you hit your chest in pride, ‘I got an ‘A’. God forgive us for our ingratitude…sometimes!
Do you remember this thing that I did before? When my friend Kofi Boakyi and I decided to go on rampage and instigate our course mates to petition the Dean of our faculty. The reason? At the end of the semester exam, half the class scored grade C in a particular course and the other half scored ‘F’.
I was the class president as the case was at such a level, not class prefect. You know how these things work; at JSS, a straight edge is called ‘ruler’; the name changes as soon as one enters SSS into ‘rule’ just like when green plantain ripens, and its name changes from bordi3 to korkorrr! In reacting to this abysmal performance and the fact that the examiner, Prof Boubou had been wicked to us, we have to ‘punish’ him too so that he reconsiders the grades.
Those were the really radical days of some students. May those days never return. We matched into the Dean’s office chanting and upon entry, we saw the Dean but seated right behind him going through some files was the ‘wicked’ Prof. Boubou who failed us. Ei! We didn’t expect him to be there; apparently he is a friend to the Dean.
The first condition of stabbing someone in the back is to ensure that the person does not get to know you are the one behind with the knife! Malice! Gossips are cowards.
Numbering about 20 ‘faceless’ students, I was the leader with the petition in my hand. We only hoped that Prof. Boubou would not know our names. Dean then asks: ‘Amani3’. I didn’t know where to start from.
I was fortunate to be one of those who obtained at least a grade ‘C’. So why do I endanger my life with this leadership choboi choboi? What if at the end of the day, Prof. decides to reverse my grade to ‘F’ for being ‘loud mouth’? What if indeed I had scored an ‘F’ but then he mistakenly gave me a ‘C’? Was it not better to ‘cry my own cry?’ Class President for where? At this point, the fastest decision was to pretend I have received nature’s call.
I went out immediately and straight to my cubicle to go and hide – no phones at the time for anybody to call me. I left them there.
As to what happened to them, Tony Kofi Boakyi was the Asst Class Prez; he should take over! Me? To have been lucky with a ‘C’, leading a team of ‘Failures’ to go and do what? Tweeeaaa!
What if Prof withdraws my C and makes it F? They should be there; that’s my back case! Later, when Kofi Boakyi and his rampaging F students came back to the hall, they accused me of betraying them. I explained to them that I had a running stomach that’s why I left.
As to how they managed to come out of the Dean’s office, that was their problem.
Boakyi and I were very ‘lazy’ students. In class, we would sleep in turns. When I sleep for 5 minutes, I would wake up and ask him to also sleep for 5 minutes. One day, this same Prof Boubou asked a question on what he had taught us the previous day. Nobody would volunteer.
Frustrated, Prof ‘threatened’ that if nobody raised his or her hand, he would mention names o. Boakyi’s immediate response loud enough was: ‘Nyame npengu’ ( to wit, God forbid). Ei! You registered for a course and ‘God forbid’ that your name would be mentioned to answer a question? Ei!
Have a great weekend and don’t be too hard on yourself if life’s exams are not going well – everybody get problem’ take yours easy!
